Womanizer woman womanizer you're a womanizer.

Last night I realized that I very rarely refer to myself as a woman. It's always "girl." I feel strange when someone calls me a woman, even stranger when I call myself one.

I'm fairly sure it isn't just me, but I'm interested in hearing other people's experiences with "boy to man" and "girl to woman." Tell me, do you refer to yourself as a boy or girl in adulthood? Is it woman or man? Or something else entirely?

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Al's icon.

Thoughts and thinks

I won a set of dogtags in a blog giveaway. It feels wrong to be wearing them. Oddly, I feel the same way about wearing a cross as I do about wearing dogtags. I shouldn't wear dogtags because I am not in the armed forces. I shouldn't wear a cross because while I was born and raised Roman Catholic, I'm a recovering Catholic - I've been clean for 11 years now.

Recently, I was speaking with my brother about work. Specifically, about working in the foreign service. He (my brother) has a friend who works for the foreign service. His job? To investigate the health related ramifications of air born fecal matter in Afghanistan. He's a dried poop scientist. I kind of wish I were a dried poop scientist, except I'm not really a fan of poop (although, I am a fan of pooping). There's something lol-worthy about working in poop - important work, but lol-worthy.

On my dogtags, I included my Twitter handle (social media owns my soul - recovering Catholic prays in the house of the Fail Whale) on one, and some goals on the other. I will run a sub-4 hour marathon in the next 3 years in NYC. I will go to Bikram Teacher training in the next 6 years, somewhere warm, preferably close to a beach. Etc.

I will also wear something on the plane to Brazil inspired by this outfit from I Want to Be Her. Except I'll probably be wearing my graffiti All Stars. 'Cause that's just the way I roll.

Tragically, my favorite white tee-shirt had an unfortunate incident with the most delicious tomato soup I've ever eaten. I blame my boobs.

And now? To take outfit pictures for Fashion Flirt.

(no subject)

I mentioned on Twitter the other day that I miss the good ol' days of Livejournal. Not just that I really enjoyed writing a regular personal diary, although that is part of it. I recall the days when a large number of friends were regular Livejournal contributors.

Those were good times.

I miss this space. I have a Personal Style Blog, over on Wordpress (my narcissistic tendencies have not changed much since I was last on LJ), but myclevername will always hold a special place in my heart.

It has been over a year since my last post here. I no longer work for lululemon, but I did (finally) finish my Masters. I ran a half-marathon in February, I still practice Bikram yoga, I picked up hoop dancing (like the good little patchouli infused hippie that I am), I'm seeking gainful employment (and hoping that I am, in fact, employable), and preparing for a last minute decision to get the fuck out of dodge and go to Brazil for a month while I can still get away with such extravagances and irresponsible behaviour. My feline family has grown.

Mr. Fly has gone from this:

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To this:

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And this:

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And has welcomed a new friend, named Roxy:

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Anyways, hi again, Livejournal. It's been fun. I've missed you.

A night in the life

Tonight, my cat and I snuggled up to watch Julie and Julia. The joys of being both single and unemployed.

Glorious!

I've recently procured the entire discography of The Doobie Brothers. I can't decide how I really feel about them. Half the time I really like them, half the time I shudder and press forward as quickly as I can.

Tell me about your thoughts and opinions on The Doobie Brothers. Sway my opinion. Take advantage of my indecision.
  • Current Music
    Wheels of Fortune - The Doobie Brothers

Ah, confession day!

I really want to try a variety of drugs; pot, 'e', LSD, cocaine, Heroine, and many others I don't even know about. I want bliss and oblivion and loss of control. I want chemical enlightenment. I won't though, I'm the product of the 'Just say no' suburbs. Drugs make me think of an egg in a frying pan. My peers may talk a good game, and I almost want to believe them about how responsible drug use is safe, but knowing my luck I'd end up on the Dr. Phil show with baldie making his "how do you know an addict is lying?' joke while the posh upper class audience pities me for my "poor life choices".

Today is arbitrary confession day (yes, they will be arbitrary moving forward).

I am sick to death of babies.

All comments are screened, IP logging off, anonymous comments welcome.

sometimes i wish i was single. not because i want other people... just because i miss being selfish and only caring about me.

The way it works? If you have a secret, something you want to share, something you need to tell, this is where you can do it.

Guess what? It is my fault. You're right. Everything I did during our relationship was my choice, and I am completely responsible for every single fuck up, every single fight. But guess what, you stupid bitch- that doesn't make me to blame.

If you would like to have your confession shared in the next arbitrary confession day, put an asterisk somewhere in the comment.

This, right now, is the happiest, most content I have ever been.

No asterisk, no sharing. Secrets are safe.

I just did something I never thought I would do. I always judged people that I knew had done it. Now that I've experienced it, I understand. Now I remember that you should never judge, because you never know.

And now? Confess if you want to!

Sex, drugs and rock and roll, man... Best. Thing. Ever.

I'm stuck in a place of neither here nor there.

I'm wired and exhausted simultaneously.

Two week long vacation. It was awesome. Fabulous. Scary. Fun and disappointing and everything I wanted it to be. It was basically perfect.

I learned a lot about me, which is as it should be. When you leave your home, your city- go outside your life- you an look back into your life and see the things that work, the things that don't. It's a fascinating look at your life from a perspective you don't always get.

Right now, I'm in the processing stage. This is my … decompression time. Time for me to go from "vacation life" to "real life." Whatever those two terms mean.

Lights, colours, sounds and smells. Sensations unlike any other. New energies, new people, new thoughts, new feelings.

New.
Al's icon.

Audioflies.

I've mentioned my love of covers on more than one occasion. I love covers of covers the most.

This is a fun little audio journey.

First you take Cliffs (the original), by Aphex Twin. Nice, trippy little piece of electronic composition.



Then, you take a cover, by Alarms Will Sound - an innovative ensemble of 20 musicians. Not dissimilar to Apocalyptica, only... Better, really.





Following this bit of musical mastery, you have the remix of the cover.





Much fun. This I thoroughly enjoy.



And, just for fun, the original, reversed by some dude on Youtube.com.

  • Current Music
    Cliffs - Aphex Twin
  • Tags

On yoga, running, family and contentment

There is something very soothing about the life I live here in this city. I wake up, I feed Beatrice and help her to dress. I play with Margaret, I get her fed, dressed and ready for school. I run. I go to yoga. I meditate. I spend time surrounded by my family, being crawled on by little girls.

Margaret, the eldest, will reach out and run her hand down my hair. "It's so soft, Aunt Rebecca." Beatrice, the younger, will immediately follow suit. "Sowft, Aunta Becca. Sowft."

I attended a Bikram Yoga class this evening. I have been craving the rigidity of a Bikram practice lately. I suspect this is because I have fully embraced the fluidity of my own life at this moment, and am reveling in it. Balance is required, and I find the yin to my yang to generally be the yoga to my life. I crave vinyasa flow and Kundalini when my life is expected and according to plan. I crave Ashtanga, Iyengar and Bikram when everything is following some plan I neither understand nor want to.

idioglossia also attended this class with me. It was her First Ever Yoga Class. She was a natural, and I will convince her to return again - despite her claims that I tried to kill her with Bikram Yoga.

My run today was brilliant, in a way I'm not entirely certain I can explain. It wasn't effortless. I wasn't running particularly quickly. About 4 miles in my calf started acting up a bit, and I altered my stride, so I was running raggedly. There is something about running down the canal, though. I see children with their parents, skating sloppily. Friends stopping in the middle of the canal to chat. Couples skating along hand in hand, slowly, lost in the other. Girls who have never skated before clinging to each other, screeching with laughter. Many, many people on their hands and knees, or flat on their backs after taking a spill.

There is so much life along the canal in the winter. So much laughter, and fun. People full of joy. Outdoors, in the middle of winter - even if it isn't cold - living. The canal in Ottawa will always make me think of living.

Full. Life.
  • Current Music
    The gentle hum of my laptop
Love

Ganesh is fresh, Becca is blessed.

I can't believe how being here is a balm to my spirit. I had no idea how much I was craving spending time with my family. Living in different cities, in different countries, from family generally doesn't bother me very much. The beauty of this system is that you can chose your own family. I have a family in Winnipeg that is not family by blood, but by choice.

The moment I walked in the front door of this house, a house I used to call my home, I felt right. My brother and sister-in-law have been having some small trouble with their nanny situation, and brother has been staying home with Margaret during the day. I arrived around 2, and he and I got to hang out for an hour or so before Margaret came home from school.

The beauty of this trip is that Tanya and Patrick have asked me to take care of Margaret during the day while I am here, and Patrick can go to work and get back to pre-nanny trouble life. Living in Ottawa, I used to come over to help Tanya take care of Margaret with regularity, so this, like walking through the front door, feels right.

This does mean I will be re-assessing my yoga challenge (in that now I don't have the time I did before, but can still go to the nighttime classes), but so long as I actually get out of bed when I'm supposed to, I can run in the morning, and then go to the gym during my 3 hour break in the afternoon.

This morning I slept in a little because last night my brother introduced me to World of Warcraft. BOTHER. I'm officially addicted, and am struggling to stay upstairs on my laptop in lieu of going downstairs to play. Last night I was up playing until around 3 in the morning... Whoops.

Margaret and I spent the morning playing, of course. And doing some homework. She helped me pick out my outfit (surprisingly tame, but to be honest, I didn't bring anything shocking with me in my wardrobe, so I'm wearing and outfit that I would have pulled together myself). She also helped me pick out my make-up. Again, surprisingly tame - a purple/pink eyeshadow combination that is a little 1986, and frosted lip colour. She wanted me to put on a bit more blush than I wound up going with, but that's perfectly fine. Like I said - a little 1986. The only thing I am wearing that is a bit over-the-top (in a fully awesome way) is Tanya's wool Iceland hat.

I feel really good. I haven't been this excited about a two week period in a long time. I'll be heading to Montreal on Sunday, will be back in Winnipeg for Wednesday night's meditation class, have a date with a good friend of mine after class, several appointments the next day, and then am flying out again.

Blessed.
  • Current Music
    MC Yogi - Ganesh is Fresh